Gainesville, again...

So here i am. in gainesville. again.

it's not that i mind gainesville so much as i mind NOT being someplace else. But i'll deal. i'm going to have to. I put my room together today, and am going to attempt getting a job this week/end. Then it will be non-stop work as I pay off my debt and start to save for the next adventure: tentatively Spain in august.

Kira wants me to come to DC and if i could find some cheap-as rent, i definitely would. But since the goal is to save money, not spend it, I can't do that. Oh well.

Additionally, I may or may not go to vegas in March. We'll see how well the cash is flowing in a few weeks to decide on that. but that would be amaaazing!

here's to the unknown!

Sale-ing takes me away....

Spring is well on its way and that means only one thing: the Highland Pines Estates Annual Garage Sale-o-Rama! Mom wanted to purge the house of unnecessary junk (which there was tons of) (is junk ever necessary??). So we pooled together our resources (me, my grandma, and my aunt) and dragged in all out on the lawn for the neighbors to purchase for mere pennies on the dollar. After 6 grueling hours of bargaining with the locals and juggling dirty coins, we still have most of the junk. but we are $400 richer! yay!

I purged myself of my shoe collection, and I feel very liberated. I now own fewer pairs of shoes than claudia, a feat I never dreamed possible. All this aside, I think I know what I need to do with my share of the money.... Bakers anyone?

More later. Time to shop!

Sigh...

I had an amazing week with Tayler, whom I heart a whole lot. I'm so glad he came, because he is exactly what I needed, when I needed it most. Not only was it a lot of fun, but it was a great ego boost, and a reminder that not every guy thinks the way dennis does, that there's still hope for me. While he may not be the one I want, he reminded me not to give up hope, which i was steadily letting go of. The last thing he said to me was to be happy, and do the things that make me happy, and to remember all the fun things that make me me, to let them shine. Forget the assholes who make me sad and who make me doubt my awesomeness. He's right, you know.

But now that he's gone and I have no distractions, I'm forced to start thinking about reality again, and sort out what the fuck is going on in my mind: Dennis, Koh Tao, Spain, travel in general, guys, work, living, I'm as clueless as ever. I really am. The new meds are working great, so that's a plus, but it still doesn't help me to figure things out. It just keeps the tears at bay.

I'm relocating to gainesville for a while. This is not the wisest of moves, but it's the one i'm going to make for the moment, because it's a hell of a lot better than being in fort myers. I'm still applying for jobs all over the world. Hopefully something will pan out, and a decision will be made for me. Right now, I just need someone else to tell me what I should be doing. I dont have the strength to do things on my own quite yet.